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Chaotic love: Borderline relationships

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Borderline disorder, as we will see below, is a peculiar disorder of emotional dysregulation.

Borderline disorder , as we will see below, is a peculiar disorder of emotional dysregulation . On the one hand, these subjects tend to be particularly vulnerable to criticism, since any attitude of others in this direction only reinforces the negative view of themselves.

On the other hand, to every criticism, these people react with abandoned feelings , as if there was no possibility of mediation between being “nobody” when alone and the feeling of existing only through the reassuring presence of another.

The main features as we will see in more detail are the following:

  • anger;
  • distorted interpersonal relationships (anaclitic, dependent or complementary, rarely reciprocal);
  • absence of a coherent identity of the self;
  • depression (sense of loneliness, feelings of guilt or self-accusation);

The causes of the symptoms of Borderline disorder

The main causes of these manifestations, as indeed in most of the personality and psychological disorders, derive from the childhood he had and from the relationship with the family of origin, which internal operational models he established with the reference figures.

A Professional described the following types of predictors of the disorder and the type of situations.

  1. Family confusion . The person with borderline disorder lived a childhood dictated by different types of family chaos, characterized by sudden changes in homes, reference figures, clashes between parents, betrayals, crises in the parental couple, conflicting separations, changes of partners presented in home without warning, verbal and physical violence, alcohol and substance abuse by reference figures that manifest themselves with aggressive attitudes at home.
  2. Affiliation and abandonment . The childhood of the borderline adult is characterized by moments of sincere affection on the part of the reference figures followed by repeated experiences of abandonment of one or more reference figures (for example removal of the partner of one of the two parents) or physical separation and emotion of one or both parents without adequate justification (a parent, trivially, who is affectionate in some moments and completely absent and not sufficiently attentive to take care of the child from a physiological and emotional / affective point of view).
  3. Family of betrayed origin . Also in this case, the person who develops a borderline disorder has experienced a strong authentic bond with the parents who, however, have not been loving enough with him or at least, have been in a discontinuous and confusing way, so much so as to involve a search for attention and care outside one’s family of origin and therefore, a consequent manifestation of disagreement on the part of one’s parents who consider the child’s search for attention as a real betrayal. This therefore involves the development of a strong sense of guilt in the child, which he will perceive even in adulthood, when he will feel the healthy need to create his own autonomy from his family.
  4. Illness and unhappiness as a request for love . The person with borderline personality disorder has learned, in childhood, that his physical and / or emotional suffering attracts the loving attention of his parents who care about him and who consequently engage in closeness and engagement. load of the child.

Diagnostic criteria used for Borderline Personality Disorder

The diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders places borderline pathology on axis II, within the “group b” of personality disorders. Many People are Looking for Athens Escorts because they need to spend their time without stress.

Specifically, borderline disorder belongs to the cluster defined as “dramatic-unpredictable” (Roth, A., Fonagy, P. 1996) and is described (American Psychiatric Association, 1994 – DSM-IV) as «a pervasive modality of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and mood and a marked impulsiveness, which appeared in early adulthood and present in various contexts… ». The DSM-IV then lists a set of nine diagnostic criteria of which at least five are required for a positive “diagnosis” . In this definition it can be noted that it is necessary, for a correct evaluation, that the phenomenological picture appeared “in early adulthood”.

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We know that an individual’s personality would be formed through a long process that probably takes place throughout one’s entire existence. However, it would seem by now well established that early childhood experiences play the most important role in the personality development process. From a study conducted by Ludolph et al. (1990) on a group of twenty-seven adolescent girls, the possibility of using the criteria for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder in adults, even in adolescence, seems to emerge. The major limitation of this study lies in the sample, which only examines a small group of female adolescents.

The diagnostic criteria

We report the nine diagnostic criteria used by the DSM-IV, of which, we recall, five or more are necessary for a positive “diagnosis” of borderline disorder:

1. Fear of abandonment : experiences fear in a constant way, which leads to the implementation of dysfunctional attitudes such as boundless jealousy, obsessive control over the partner, excessive and acute involvement in the relationship, attitudes implemented through dangerous behaviors , self-punitive and violent towards the other; desperate efforts to avoid real or imaginary abandonment.

2. Inconstancy in affective relationships : characterized by impulsive behaviors and attitudes, mood swings and unthinking decisions, a picture of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, characterized by alternating between extremes of hyper-idealization and devaluation.

3. Alteration of identity : self-image and self-perception markedly and persistently unstable.

4. Impulsiveness in at least two areas that are potentially harmful to the individual (such as spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, bingeing). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviors considered in criterion 5.

5. Recurrent suicidal threats, gestures, behavior , or self-mutilating behavior.

6. Affective instability due to marked mood reactivity (eg, episodic intense dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety, usually lasting a few hours, and only rarely more than a few days.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness .

8. Unmotivated and intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (eg, frequent fits of anger or constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

9. Paranoid ideation , or severe transient dissociative symptoms, related to stress.

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